It's been two years now...........................will this agony and pain ever end? Will I ever see my sweet girls again? Will they at least be able to ever rest?

The pain is as fresh today as it was that horrible day two years ago, on March 25. 2004. Nothing has changed, time has stopped in so many ways. I read somewhere that a parent experiencing this seems to have one foot stuck in that day (the day their child vanished) and another foot in the here and now, taking care of the other children, going to work, sweeping the floor. That is so true. I remember the day that I fell to my knees in my front yard and knew that something terrible was wrong just like it was yesterday. In so many ways, I am still in that position. It still seems at times, to be just unreal, sometimes I still wake up thinking maybe it was all just a bad dream.

There are so many things that I long to share with my daughter and so many things that I dream of sharing with my granddaughter. I logged onto the computer today to check in and one of the first things that I saw was a different face staring back at me from the screen when I went to the NCMEC site to look at Adrianna's face. Her age progression is done and posted as a new flyer. What a shock! I had in my mind that Adrianna would still look basically the same and that I would know her if I ever saw her, no matter how old she was. What I saw amazed me, it occured to me that I could walk right past this little girl and not recognize her as my own sweet grandbaby. Is that possible? Could she change that much? I do know that she is not a baby anymore, but a little girl, who will soon be getting ready for school. I also realize that I have lost the opportunity to do alot of the things that I wanted to do with her. Those were baby things.......she probably would not be interested in them anymore, those times are lost. Now I will progress farther with the things that I want to share with her, things that would be more age appropriate for her. I know that if I can ever find her that we can make up for the lost time........I know that we can.