Thanksgiving

The time approaches again that I used to look so forward to every year. Now...........................I'm not sure how I feel. Thanksgiving is especially difficult...............this is the last holiday that I spent with Jennifer and Adrianna. I didn't get to spend that last Christmas with them, Joey robbed that memory from me, just as I believe, all the memories to be made have been taken from me, my family, Jennifer and Adrianna. You see, I didn't believe that this man was good for my daughter and granddaughter. I saw something in his eyes, along with the disrespect that he showed to me, my daughter and other members of our family. Jennifer loved him...................she wanted to be with him, wanted a family with him...............this she persued against the advice of her family. So she decided to spend that last Christmas with he and his family instead of her own as an outward expression of her love for him. She had no way of knowing that she would not be here to share other holidays with her family.

Last year, I did not spend the holidays with my family. I chose to go away, to do anything different from the normal family traditions. This year....................I'm staying with my family.

After alot of thought and prayer, I have decided that here is where Jennifer would want me to be. My other two daughters will spend their last year, at home, as children this year. One is to be married in the Spring and she is moving away. The other will graduate high school in the Spring and then off to college in the fall. This has all been so difficult for them and I want them to have a part of the memories of their childhood to take with them into their lives.

Thanksgiving....................................A time to give thanks.......................................Boy, has that been a thought process in my mind and heart. Though there is a gapping hole in my heart...............I have so much to be thankful for. My memories of Jennifer and Adrianna and the time that I was given with them, though so short, every minute is so precious. Both of them taught me so many things about love and about life. For that I am thankful..................................I am thankful for my two other daughters, without them I don't think I would have survived this tragedy. They are beautiful, smart, funny.......................everything that a Mother could ask for in her children. I am blessed to have them as my daughters, as my friends. ...........................When my family gathers on Thursday, it will be at the home of my Grandparents, yes.............a middle aged woman who is still blessed to have her grandparents in her life!!! For them, I am thankful. The internet is not large enough to write the memories that I have with my Nanny and Pop!!!! My Nanny's stuffing is one of Jennifer's favorite parts about Thanksgiving..............This year, I will eat enough for the both of us....................................For my parents, I am so grateful.............my Mom is a rock, always there and strong. She carries so many burdens for us all. I will go on Wednesday and help her cook the holiday feast and spend some quality time with her, knowing that every moment is precious and cannot be lived again...............................For my husband.........Wow! The only thing that I know to say is, He Is There Always!!!!!!!!!!He is a constant in my world, just knowing that he is there and supports me warms my heart................For my sister....Oh, I am so thankful for her. We have always been so close. She has been like a second Mom for my children, they know and I know that we can depend on her. Like my Mom, she is a rock. We share many special memories together, for those memories, I am thankful.

So, when I thought of going away for the Holiday and hiding from the reality, I had to ask myself, what would Jennifer want????????? I know the answer she would give, I know my daughter, she would tell me to stay with my family and to be thankful for them. I know that wherever I go, Jenn is somehow with me, so...................................together, we will partake in the feast that we are blessed to have, with the family and friends that we are blessed to have in our lives.

Happy Thanksgiving, Jennifer and Adrianna
Happy Thanksgiving to All